An enemy is not just someone against whom we hold enmity, but usually someone who regards us as an enemy. Jesus tell us to love those who don't love us back, to greet those who don't pay attention to us, to be perfect-in the same way as our Father God does for us, giving us the love we don't deserve, holding back the justice we do deserve (Matthew 5:43-48).
How do I love gays? I am gentle. "Gentle" is from gens
meaning "family." I treat gays as I would my own family. If you have a gay
family member, treat them like family. I spend a lot of time listening. I
seek to be humble.
I may in fact be wrong about my Scriptural interpretation! It's the Bible that's
infallible, not my interpretation of it. There are some folks whose spiritual
welfare God has entrusted to me--my family for sure, and the local church of
which I am a member. Others I have the freedom to disagree with, without
judgmentalism.
St. Paul says don't judge[1] those outside the church (I Cor 5:11-13).
I am grace-full. Paul calls homosexuality "unnatural," but I'm encouraging you
to do an unnatural[2] act--to be graceful. Gays want justice (equality,
distributive justice); the radical right wants justice (penalty for sin,
retributive justice). Who is going to offer grace? Paul says "speak
the truth in love" (Eph 4:15). Jesus modeled that for us, being "full of
grace and truth" (John 1:14).
I don't rant. That is, I don't lash out against gays. As Martin Marty
reminds us, I Corinthians 6:9-10 says that ranters and men-bedders will not
inherit the Kingdom. If we rant against gays, these verses put us in the
company of the very ones we hate, and so we become like our emotional
focus. The passages that I assigned for homework on
Week 1 (Gen 19, Lev 18 & 20, Rom 1, I Cor 6:9-11, I Tim 1:10, Jude 7) are
called the "clobber" passages by gays because of the way in which Christians
have used them against gays. The most egregious example of this is
The Rev. Fred Phelps (see his website).
When I talk to gays, I try to share a comparable experience from my own life.
Paul, who called himself the chief of sinners, said that we are to comfort
others with the comfort that we have received (II Cor 1:4).
How can the Church at large love gays?
Offer positive same-sex role modeling to help those who have been wounded
in personal relationships. Who is willing to "reparent" those whose wounds
have been in relating to family members? "God is a Father to the
fatherless," sings King David (Psa 68:5). Value singleness. A
church should not be so couple-oriented as to exclude folding singles into
deep friendships. "God sets the solitary in families," David says in the
next verse.
Don't major on minors. You will have to decide for yourself whether
you think that homosexuality is a "salvation issue." But there are many other
byways that can distract gays from hearing the Gospel. Gays stereotype
conservative Christians as being anti-woman, ascetic, uptight, and
legalistic. If possible, agree where you can on side issues. If the person
is not a Christian, then everything is a side issue apart from one: What
will you do with Jesus' offer of life?
Avoid offensive vocabulary as much as possible. Since what is offensive
changes from time to time, you can't avoid all offense, but consider these red
flags: "Gay lifestyle" (What is a heterosexual lifestyle like?). "Choice"
("No one in their right mind would have chosen this," say some. Others are
proud that they have chosen. Don't presume you are talking with the latter.).
"I love the sinner but I hate the sin" (Avoid this clich‚. Avoid all clich‚s!).
Gays take offense at blanket statements that do not respect their individual
differences. Avoid overgeneralization. Gays make blanket statements that are
contradicted by the research literature ("10% of the population are gay"; "75%
of teen suicides are gay teens"). We should not. Not all gays are
effeminate; not all gays reject God; not all gays are a threat to children.
Is there a place for a prophetic voice in the church today calling people
away from homosexuality? Yes. But the venue for disagreement is the public
square. Even there our words should be sweet. Bitter words reflect more on
the speaker than on the topic. Jesus' harshest words are for religious
leaders, not those who sin sexually.
At two web sites Christians are working on these issues.
Summary of Lessons. In Week 1 of this study we saw truth as biblical.
What are the commands of God? In Week 2 we saw truth as personal. What is my
testimony about God's power to do what He says? This week, Week 3, I want
you to see truth as requiring a high commitment to action.
How do the saints in Revelation 12:11 overcome Satan? By all three of these
aspects of truth. They appeal to the objective act of God in history, Jesus'
crucifixion. They appeal to their own subjective experience, the word of
their testimony. They are committed to love God more than their own lives,
and so put truth to action. Here is one example. John Wesley was criticized
by fellow Christians because Methodists took up the cause of a homosexual
prisoner, but Wesley was willing to be misunderstood in order to do what was
right. One of Wesley's biographers says,
[T]here was much talk in Oxford of Wesley's lack of discretion in taking up
so eagerly the cause of young Blair, as unpopular with his fellow prisoners
as with the townsfolk, who was accused of homosexuality. "Mr Horn and I had
rather a warm dispute about the Methodists taking the part of Blair who was
found guilty of Sodomitical Practices and fined 20 marks by the Recorder,"
Thomas Wilson wrote in his diary. "Whether the man is innocent or no, they
were not the proper judges; it was better he should suffer than such a
scandal given on countenancing a man whom the whole town think guilty of
such an enormous crime. Whatever good they [the Methodists] pretend, it was
highly imprudent and has given the occasion of terrible reflections."
[3]
Will you like Wesley, or like Jesus himself, be a "friend of sinners"? (Matt 11:19)
Copyright © 1998. Gene B. Chase. All rights reserved.
Endnotes